Articles

Hey! You’re Just Like Me (and other unalterable truths about friendship)

Like is attracted to like.

It’s a known fact.

We’re attracted to people most like us.

We find comfort, connection, and consolation in getting close to those who are most similar to us.

But that doesn’t mean our friends of choice are necessarily good for us.

Which is sort of comforting, sort of scary.

While I can envision a world of people who run their hours and days in military-like fashion (which is where I am most comfortable) getting lots accomplished, checking off items on their to-do lists, and marching steadily onward and upward to achieving their goals; I do, at times, get really tired of myself and long for a more relaxed approach to life.

Which is where my friends come in….thankfully.

While I’m busy marching along getting stuff done, some of my friends (who are way smarter than me) are setting aside their to-do lists and living a life (that I sometimes only write about)…can you see the problem here?

Some of us (who shall remain nameless) are so content in their routines that we miss the joy of surprises, of the unexpected, and even of the mundane that gets interjected into our regular days.

This is where having friends (five friends?) who are completely opposite in temperament from you comes in handy.

Friends who will call you on the spur of the moment to drop what you’re doing and say, “Come with me!” to whatever. (I am not one of those people…although I aspire to be.)

Friends who actually plan fun get togethers…(I’ll plan a meeting, or a get together for a purpose…but one just for fun? Maybe next year…)

Friends who feel no shame in inviting you to dinner for….leftovers (I’m happy to eat someone else’s leftovers…but if you’re not family, I’m not offering my leftovers to you without a fight.)

Friends who hug and kiss with abandon (going to Italy helped me with this…still, I’m not a hugger by nature and if I’ve hugged you, consider that proof that I care deeply about you.)

Friends who make you laugh for no reason at all (oh boy, do I ever need this…)

So here’s the challenge.

Make a list of the five people you spend the most time with…and it’s probably not your family. Sad, but true.

Study this list and ask yourself if the people on it are mirror reflections of yourself? If they are scarily similar and clone-like replications of you, then muster up some courage and try to branch out and befriend someone different from yourself…just for the adventure of it all.

Remember, we’re not looking for friends who are dis-similar in character/values…we are on the hunt for those with different temperaments. People who bring balance to our lives (and to whom we can offer a different type of balance.)

I’m willing, are you?

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