I have this strong sense of justice…it just eeks out of me.
I love the law (grace is a much harder concept for me to grasp.)
To my mind, I can look at a situation and sum it up pretty fast.
These words comfort my soul (and also constrict it.)
These concepts help me feel in control (and also confine me.)
I can scare myself sometimes with how easily my mind cries out, “That’s not fair!”
Of course, you can see the problems inherent in this type of thinking.
First of all, life on a broken planet filled with bruised and broken people is rarely going to be fair and we’re foolish to think otherwise.
Still, don’t we all cherish the hope that despite all odds people will treat us fairly? Graciously? Kindly? Deferring to our wishes, just because?
Now you get the picture of my little fantasy world.
One I’m determined to abandon once and for all because lately I’ve been guilty of crying foul way too often.
So now I give up.
I don’t have energy or the desire to be the judge or the jury, so you don’t have any worries with me.
I have too many questions and not enough answers.
Too many mysteries and not enough solutions.
As a close friend said to me yesterday, “The older I get the less I understand and the less I judge people for their choices.”
This felt like a safety net to me because I had just confessed a whole series of doubts, discouragements, unanswered questions, and the temptation to give up to her.
And like the faithful friend she is…she didn’t offer me any easy answers or 1,2,3 steps to set my wrestling aright.
She just smiled at me – right up to her eyes.
You know that look.
The one that speaks louder than any words.
The one that says, I understand you (and your pain.)
And for that brief space in time, it felt like all was right in my world again.
I think we under-estimate the restorative power of being listened to and then validated.
Those two simple acts of grace really can change a person’s world because no matter what, mercy always triumphs over judgment.