You have a disagreeable duty to do at twelve o’clock. Do not blacken nine and ten and eleven, and all between, with the color of twelve. George MacDonald
All week long I’ve been struggling to not allow a “disagreeable duty” blacken every day and hour right up to the one thing I’d been dreading.
At some points, I was able to put it aside, other moments I wasn’t and my thoughts were increasingly pre-occupied by the very thing I was dreading.
So what’s the big deal?
What kept distracting me from other more important duties?
A silly MRI.
I kept asking myself why I was dreading it so much. Unlike some people, the actual test doesn’t bother me. I don’t feel claustrophobic inside the tube and I don’t mind the loud banging noises it makes during the test.
What I did mind…was that this test was a reminder of an ongoing shoulder problem that I try mightily hard to forget day by day.
So much so, that I almost cancelled this test (and an upcoming appointment with another doctor who will evaluate my problem) because I’m just sick and tired of the whole issue.
Which brings me to why I chose this delightful photo of Logan singing his heart out on our vacation earlier this summer (and upon my request.)
Yesterday, as I lay listening to the thunderous banging all around me, I was trying to distract myself from why I was once again submitting myself to another test (which I honestly feel is pointless)…so I focused on two happy-ier thoughts.
1. Logan sitting on the outdoor porch rocking to his heart’s content while entertaining me to my heart’s content.
2. A message I heard on the way to the test yesterday morning where the speaker challenged people to ask themselves two questions when they feel upset or don’t want to forgive or are just mired in unbridled frustration about their circumstances.
First: will this problem matter in one hundred years?
Second: is this problem worth losing/weakening/damaging a relationship or attitude over?
Laying there, I thought about Logan and smiled (without moving my head)…and then I considered this speaker’s questions and answered them (in my head.)
Will my shoulder problems matter in a hundred years? Nope.
Will my frustration with the whole process make anything better? Nope.
So…confined as I was for over an hour…I gave some hard thought to changing up my attitude by accepting the truth that I’m not in control of outcomes (only my response to them along the way) and I’ve got oodles to be grateful for (and this little man is one of the best reasons for my heart to keep on singing despite the disagreeable that comes my way.)