Articles

Are You Feeding Your Relationships the Sweet Stuff?

When I was growing up, my best friend’s dad raised honey bees…and I learned early on not to get too close to their hives. I also learned something equally important…that honey bees produce one of the sweetest treats around.

I still remember her father wearing a safari-like helmet with meshing all around his neck and face while he reached into the hives and inspected each one. Then, if we were really lucky…he’d break off a piece of honeycomb for each of us…dripping with honey. Could it get any better?

Now many years later, the hives are history but the lessons my friend (who is a counselor/life coach) took away from those early childhood years still sticks…read on to learn a bit about how relationships and honey bees resemble one another.

Thanks to my dear friend, Sarah Halsey, for her sweet insights!

More Jelly, Please!

When a hive full of busy bees wants to produce a queen, they select a special larva and begin to feed her differently.

For starters, she is fed huge amounts of Royal Jelly. All bee babies get some royal jelly, but not in the same amount as the queen.

That’s right. The queen bee gets a special diet and is protected and fussed over by many adoring worker bees. The queen bee’s babies that get this special treatment are destined for greatness. Interesting.

I used to think on this as a child (we raised lots of bees) and wondered why all the bees just didn’t eat more of the Royal Jelly. Well, of course, we can’t have all queens ‘cause we know how that would turn out!

I also recognized how a simple change in the treatment of this one special girl resulted in a very different outcome for her little bee life. So what does this jelly talk have to do with all of us?

Well, what sets ordinary relationships apart from great relationships?

They don’t just happen. They are “fed” something extra – something special.

In bee language: ordinary care = drone, worker bees.

Special care, bigger investment = queens (and kings.)

So what do you “feed” your relationships? Would you describe the person in your closest relationship as an ordinary drone or a member of the Royal Family?

If you said they are pretty ordinary — maybe you haven’t fed them enough. Do you invest your most precious resources into your treasured relationships? Do you feed them large quantities of kindness, attention, time, patience and forgiveness? Or do you treat them like one of the gang – nothing special? Would your loved ones say you give them the royal treatment frequently or rarely? Are they suffering from the pangs of being overlooked and neglected, and, in return, feeling the same about you?

Get out a big spoon — they need more “Royal Jelly.” A lot more!!!

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