Capture the Moment and Move On

A couple of weeks ago I posted about getting over the mental hurdle of entering a television studio for the first time in years. Well, the interview ran this past Saturday and here it is…proof that I am a fallible, imperfect, mistake-making person.

Yep…painful to watch yourself in action.

So, truth to tell, I haven’t even watched it.

In all honesty, I most likely won’t.

Why?

Because if I don’t like what I see/hear from myself….I probably won’t say yes to another television offer.

Still, I’m excited and grateful for the opportunity to share the message of my book and I hope you’ll consider taking time to share it with your friends too.

As the photo states…I’m capturing the moment and moving on.

I think it’s a very good development that I’m able to laugh at myself these days.

Making healthy choices and caring for an elderly relative – 13abc.com Toledo (OH) News, Weather and Sports.

Just Show Up Because It Matters

It takes wisdom to have a good family, and it takes understanding to make it strong. Proverbs 24:3

Max Lucado shares some insight on the importance of simply showing up. It matters more than we might think.

Do you believe in your kids? Then show up. Show up at their games. Show up at their plays. Show up at their recitals. It may not be possible to make each one, but it’s sure worth the effort…

Do you believe in your friends? Then show up. Show up at their graduations and weddings. Spend time with them. You want to bring out the best in someone? Then show up.

Get Out There – Where the Magic Happens

Last week I entered a television studio for the first time in a long time.

Even though I know (and love) the show’s host, I felt some level of angst. At this point in my life, I’m real comfortable with radio interviews and honestly enjoy them. I like the live interchange between the host(s) and myself. There’s an energy there that I find well, energizing.

Not so with television. I’m out of my comfort zone on many levels.

Still, when a media personage invites you to be on their show, saying no isn’t an option.

So I went.

Am I ever glad I did.

I had so much fun.

Was the interview perfect? I’m confident it wasn’t.
Did I flawlessly present myself and my book? I’m sure I didn’t.
Will viewers watch and say to themselves, she’s not a professional? Probably.

Guess what? I don’t care.

For me, the whole challenge of that particular morning was walking through those studio doors and doing the interview.

Isn’t that like a lot of life?

We’re asked to do something we’re not comfortable with and once we do it we’re so very glad we risked whatever we were afraid of and went for it anyway?

So much of life is out of our comfort zones.
It just is.

So why not determine to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and just engage in life, with people, serving with our gifts/talents, and do it anyway?

I’m convinced we’ll have nothing to lose but regrets.

Two of the Most Powerful Words You Can Speak — Me Too.

Helen Keller, blind and deaf since a toddler, wrote, “Although the world is full of suffering it is also full of the overcoming of it…Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another’s pain, life is not in vain.”

Often when I am in a group of women, someone is depressed (or knows someone who is) and very often what brings a smile isn’t some flowery platitude…it’s simply another woman speaking out loud these two powerful words.

Me too.

Suddenly, that island of despair and loneliness morphs into a continent of cure…and hope is birthed again.

I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count and still, it amazes me how honesty sparks hope and then healing in another person.

Let me share what counselor and author, Ed Welch, has to say on this topic of depression.

Much has been written on the topic of depression, some worthy of the press received, others not. Sadly, many of the newsworthy articles on this issue pose more questions than they answer. Seems everyone has an expert opinion on the whys and reasons for suffering from this debilitating problem. While not everyone would agree on why a person gets depressed, or even how much of the experience is physically versus emotionally driven, one aspect of this condition is pretty clear. The one who is depressed isn’t the same person he/she once was…and while recognizing this fact, the depressed individual frequently pushes away those closest to them during those times when their need for support is greatest. This paradox alone can be frustrating to loved ones and friends of the depressed person for a variety of reasons.

The now depressed man or woman doesn’t exhibit enthusiasm about anything, what once drove and inspired now lays dormant and discarded. There used to be a “give and take” to the relationship that is now overwhelmingly one-sided. Dr. Welch’s observation that, “…we all shift back and forth between our roles as physician and patient,” is especially telling as caring people continue to give without getting anything in return. It is the tenacious soul who preserves despite repeated perceptions of rejection by their depressed friend.

For those who seek to support and encourage a depressed loved one, Dr. Welch cautions these helpers that they will experience resistance and it will be hard at times to continue pursuing a loving relationship. “Sometimes you will grow weary in loving. We all do. You will genuinely love, but it will seem fruitless or irrelevant. It won’t seem to matter to the depressed person. But know this: your love makes a difference. That doesn’t mean one concerted push to love will snap anyone out of depression.

By itself, your love will not change anyone.” For the depressed, time can stand still, for those observing their emotionally distraught friend, time doesn’t pass quickly enough. They reason that time in abundance has already been spent in this “phase” and they become impatient for life to get back to normal. While no one can predict how long a depressive season will endure, Dr. Welch recommends the following suggestions to gently promote healthy life patterns.

· Encourage daily structure that includes regular times for eating/exercising/sleeping.
· Set up a simple schedule to accomplishing one new specific task each day.
· Offer accountability, check in daily with the depressed person.
· Learn to discern the appropriate moments to interrupt faulty speech or thinking patterns and speak the truth.
· Reassure your suffering friend that you are in it for the duration.

In close, Welch encourages continued efforts by saying, “…depressed people, like all of us, are aware of kindness and love that is willing to sacrifice. Love always leaves its mark.”

I Don’t Need Your Issues…I Have Plenty of My Own

“Those who live from the mind shed few tears. I wonder if that isn’t the real reason they choose to hide there.”
John Eldredge in Waking the Dead

There is a connection between what we really want and what we say we want. On some occasions, our deepest desires may be considered socially unacceptable (at least in our eyes) so we squelch them. Or we deny they exist. Other times, we choose to follow our heart’s longings wherever they might lead us, and then defend our choices.

Both scenarios leave something to be desired. All too often, there is a disconnect between our mind (how we mentally process making a decision) and our heart (the seat of our emotions/feelings/yearnings).

Whenever we place one above the other (mind versus heart), we risk not grasping the whole picture. Likewise, when either our thoughts or our emotions take such a prominent position so as to negate the other, lopsided, unbalanced, and frequently shortsighted decisions are made. We need to respect and consider both aspects of our person as complimentary. There is space for logically assessing a given situation and making appropriate responses. As there is room for simultaneously entering into the feelings of the same. Allowing ourselves to experience the emotional gamut of joy, pain, celebration, disappointment is a good and necessary thing.

A look at the process…

So why do we opt for or against a particular decision? Some would say individuals act solely to insure self-preservation, personal advancement, or to gratify their bodily desires. This premise is incomplete at best.

Decision-making goes deeper. Each of us is capable of processing even the most basic option almost unconsciously. Why? Because we are a compilation of our experiences, upbringing, education, beliefs and values. We frequently choose without a “second” thought. Still, acting and moving ahead, without proper mental consideration, is dangerous. As is refusing to engage a situation with one’s heart, growing aloof, without any care for the suffering or needs of others. This heart disconnect is just as lethal, maybe more so, than mistaken judgment.

It is when individuals separate themselves emotionally from the effects their choices have on others that real harm is done. Yes, it takes courage and resilience to choose to engage the heart and the mind. Choosing to enter in emotionally will hurt; other times it will be a gift.

When viewed as an integral process, the thinking of the mind paired with the feelings of the heart, we are more able to make discerning, wise choices that promote balance, goodwill, and other-oriented, consistent results. Joined together, equally regarded, the mind and the heart become an unbeatable combination.

As author John Eldredge observes, “A person’s character is determined by his motives, and motive is always a matter of the heart.”

Don’t neglect either one; think with your head and your heart.

That Extra Two Percent – Giving It Your All (plus a little bit more)

“Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best.”
Anonymous

What difference does that little bit of “extra” make? Does it count? Can you quantify it? Measure it? Bottle it? Afraid you won’t be able to keep pace with it once you’ve demonstrated your finest stuff?

Asked another way, can anyone really tell if you’ve given your all or maybe fudged a bit and only meted out a decent (respectable) day’s effort? Who can accurately say if a person has put in the additional time, effort, and attention required to tip the scales beyond mediocrity? In truth, only you can.

We all know if we’ve done our level best. And we shirk from those memories when we chose not to follow through to greatness. When we go that extra mile, it feels good to know we’ve exceeded what has been expected of us. Who doesn’t appreciate this inner-pat-on-the-back following a job well done? Even a two percent add-on can make a world of difference on the job, at home, and well, anywhere you decide to invest yourself. Could be a hobby, that volunteer position, or simply remaking an acquaintance type relationship into a genuine friendship.

For any hard-headed, crunch the numbers, cynical types out there who decry the notion that no one really pays attention to that extra couple of percent…let’s take at a look at the numbers (because numbers speak for themselves). Say a young person starts out with an investment of $500.00 at 10% interest compounded continuously from age seven to age eighteen; they’d come up with a meager $1502.08. However, by age 62, this amount grows to $122,346.00 and by age 72 it’s worth $332,571.00. Nice return over the long haul. Let’s take the same scenario and change only one factor. Instead of a 10% interest, up the ante to 12%…. a minuscule two percent increase. Given the same timeframes this initial investment of $500.00 is now worth: $1871.00 then $367,548.00 and finally, $1,220,300.00 respectively. Note the difference. Note the principle.

Give a little, get a little. Give a lot; get a whole lot more.

Another life truism: it truly is the “little” things that make the most difference. Embracing a consistent attitude of pursuing excellence in all areas will naturally spill over, multiply, and advance any project or purpose.

This doesn’t necessary mean monetary returns…but since when did money mean more than quality of life, inner satisfaction, and a good conscience. Never did, never will. So at day’s end, give it your all, and be able to gladly mark the day as one well spent and wisely invested.

What’s Making Me Thankful Today

Of course, the topic on everyone’s mind is yesterday’s horrific bombing in Boston. I thought about it all day yesterday, went to bed thinking about it, and woke up at 2:00am thinking about it.

This morning, I’m still thinking about it.

But something’s changed since yesterday. Now, I’m thinking about all the people who immediately stepped up to the challenge and began helping those around them at the scene.

I started thinking about all those people who in the midst of the tragedy didn’t run for their lives. Instead, they stayed and assisted the injured.

In other words, they helped.

Helpers are not as rare as we might believe.
They are everywhere.
And when we spot them, it makes all the difference.

It gives us hope in an otherwise hopeless situation.
It brightens our perspective that despite man’s inhumanity toward man…helpers help tip the balance right again.
It makes me more courageous to jump in and do the right thing the next time I’m afraid to get involved.
It cranks up my thankful meter to the highest high.

So today, as I’m grieving for those who were hurt and for the families who lost loved ones…I’m going to give thanks for the helpers who help us as bystanders keep going.

…Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Philippians 4:8