Monthly Archives: May 2012

I’m a Person First and a Patient Second — In That Order (Did you hear what I just said?)

When I opened my inbox there was a terrifically insightful selection of brief essays written by four medical professionals on the art (and importance) of listening well.

I clicked through each one and found these stories telling…in that each of these professionals (though specializing in different areas of medicine) shared a common insight….

Listening to people and their emotions matters.
Listening to people as patients concerned about their health matters
.

Listening. Period. Matters.

It’s no surprise to medical doctors and their staff that people arrive in their offices pretty beaten up (down) by their current physical condition. And though they require medical care…equally important is the emotional care they need.

And people equate feeling cared for emotionally by being listened to patiently.

Get that equation because it’s important.

People (patients) require physicians (and other attending staff) to listen.

Intently.
Kindly.
Sincerely.
Patiently.
Genuinely
.

And according to these interviews below…this type of RX listening is as valuable to a patient’s overall health as is any medical procedure or cure.

Just saying that people are people first and patients second.

Piece by piece (conversation by conversation) people can begin to heal.

How does a fallen world begin to heal? How do the shattered pieces get put back together to form a picture that is even more beautiful than it was to begin with? The answer: piece by piece. Jay Bilsborrow

Read more about Healthcare Provision and the Discipline of Listening or click through directly to the four vocational reflections from healthcare professionals:

On the Auscultation of the Heart by Dr. Ryan Buchholz
Are You Listening by Dr. Curt Thompson
Listening Is Not Hearing by Eden Garber
Listening in Medicine by Dr. Larry Bergstrom

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Are You Feeding Your Relationships the Sweet Stuff?

When I was growing up, my best friend’s dad raised honey bees…and I learned early on not to get too close to their hives. I also learned something equally important…that honey bees produce one of the sweetest treats around.

I still remember her father wearing a safari-like helmet with meshing all around his neck and face while he reached into the hives and inspected each one. Then, if we were really lucky…he’d break off a piece of honeycomb for each of us…dripping with honey. Could it get any better?

Now many years later, the hives are history but the lessons my friend (who is a counselor/life coach) took away from those early childhood years still sticks…read on to learn a bit about how relationships and honey bees resemble one another.

Thanks to my dear friend, Sarah Halsey, for her sweet insights!

More Jelly, Please!

When a hive full of busy bees wants to produce a queen, they select a special larva and begin to feed her differently.

For starters, she is fed huge amounts of Royal Jelly. All bee babies get some royal jelly, but not in the same amount as the queen.

That’s right. The queen bee gets a special diet and is protected and fussed over by many adoring worker bees. The queen bee’s babies that get this special treatment are destined for greatness. Interesting.

I used to think on this as a child (we raised lots of bees) and wondered why all the bees just didn’t eat more of the Royal Jelly. Well, of course, we can’t have all queens ‘cause we know how that would turn out!

I also recognized how a simple change in the treatment of this one special girl resulted in a very different outcome for her little bee life. So what does this jelly talk have to do with all of us?

Well, what sets ordinary relationships apart from great relationships?

They don’t just happen. They are “fed” something extra – something special.

In bee language: ordinary care = drone, worker bees.

Special care, bigger investment = queens (and kings.)

So what do you “feed” your relationships? Would you describe the person in your closest relationship as an ordinary drone or a member of the Royal Family?

If you said they are pretty ordinary — maybe you haven’t fed them enough. Do you invest your most precious resources into your treasured relationships? Do you feed them large quantities of kindness, attention, time, patience and forgiveness? Or do you treat them like one of the gang – nothing special? Would your loved ones say you give them the royal treatment frequently or rarely? Are they suffering from the pangs of being overlooked and neglected, and, in return, feeling the same about you?

Get out a big spoon — they need more “Royal Jelly.” A lot more!!!

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Naming Those Pre-Surgery Jitters To Rid Yourself of Them

Polling a group of diverse men and women on what causes them to experience “pre-surgery jitters” surprised me. Their answers (which were both specific and passionately expressed) were not what I anticipated.

I had expected men to be anxious about one set of concerns and women another. Wrong. Come the night before surgery, there was plenty of agreement between the sexes on what was worth losing sleep over. Contrary to what I had previously believed true, it seems that a person’s sex; educational background, economic stability, or prior medical history has little to do with what individuals secretly fear about entering the operating room. Although each person cited a particular area that triggered his or her inner alarm to go off, there was a single common theme running through every named fear.

Bottom line: it was loss of control (imagined or real.)

Though men and women cited different types of concerns that trigger anxiety, underlying each was the fear that the unexpected could occur and there would be little they could do about it. This realization is accurate in part; no one is completely (or partly) in control. What people fail to acknowledge, however, is the power they can exert when they take an active role in alleviating as many of their fears as possible. It’s the old adage, “knowledge is power.” The good news for every patient is that there are specific steps that minimize the uncertainty and reduce those pre-surgical jitters. But before that…here’s a rundown of what folks fear most.

Pre-surgical Fears: The (Not So Short) List

•What if I don’t wake up from the anesthesia or (worse) wake up during the procedure but I am too paralyzed to cry out for help?
•Will I be at risk for general anesthesia complications that will result in permanent mental or physical injury and loss?
•What happens if I experience extreme side effects from the anesthesia such as feeling nauseous and dizzy?
•If the worst happens and I die during the operation, how will my family be consoled?
•What if my doctor finds something he didn’t expect, how might that change my treatment plan?
•If surgery doesn’t correct my problem, what is the next step?
•What are the possible and most common complications?
•How long is the recovery period?
•How much pain will I experience and how will it be controlled?
•Is there a significant risk for infections such as Staph and MRSA?
•What is the success rate of my surgery and how much experience has my physician had with this procedure?
•I want more information about the specifics steps of the surgery but I don’t feel competent about what questions to ask, can you help me?

Did your fear(s) appear on this list? If not, perhaps you have a different one (or many.) In either case, having surgery doesn’t necessarily mean that you, the patient, abdicate all control to those masked medical professionals in the OR (not if you are willing to name your fears and do a bit of pre-surgery question and answer work on your own.)

The best way to reduce your pre-surgical anxiety is to take on the role of an information gatherer well before you head to the hospital and here’s how.

Darrell Wachowiak, Director of Surgery, Flower Hospital, Sylvania, Ohio, tells patients (and their families) how to prepare for a fearless pre-surgical experience. The best part of this RX is that you don’t need a medical degree to follow these expert recommendations.

Take These Steps — Alleviate Your Pre-Surgery Stress

· The double-edged sword of trust. Patients often trust in health care in general (and in their own providers personally) and so do not ask enough questions for them to feel comfortable. Recognize that trust in your physician also means you trust him enough to communicate your doubts and fears. Your professional doctor-patient relationship must be able to bear the weight of your questions.

· Identify within yourself what you fear. People are different and have many unique and specific concerns. Some are afraid of the actual procedure while others have no fear of the procedure but are anxious that they are vulnerable or may be exposed. Ask yourself what it is that you fear, make a list, and then go after the answers.

· Ask for help in reducing “your” specific fear. Medical professionals are happy to offer reassurance and information once patients identify their fears. Staying silent (and hoping for the best) is not prudent or practical because internal stress works against the patient (and the surgical outcome.) Bring your anxieties to the light of day and providers will help you extinguish them.

· No fear is too small; no concern is too minor to be voiced. Nothing pleases a health care worker more than to know that they are putting a patient at ease and decreasing their anxiety. Hospital staff here to help and with open communication the medical community can be better prepared to treat each individual (and their fears) with all the tools at their disposal (unmasking each and every one, one concern at a time.)

On a lighter note, one final fear was expressed (which I fear is a growing one.) Fear of getting on the scale in the pre-operating area!

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I Don’t Do Windows and I’ve Made My Peace with It

I don’t do windows.

I’m all about neat and tidy.
A place for everything and everything in its place
.

And I like clean counters and squeaky clean everything else.

I also love clean windows.

But I don’t do windows.

At least from the outside.

Every week I clean the inside windows throughout the house.

But the outside? Can’t remember the last time I touched them…literally.

Why?

Frame’s Pest Control.

Each time I would clean the windows, the pest control guys would come out to my house and spray every single window and frame with the stuff that kills our monster spiders (and if you live near water you know the type of spiders I’m referring to). BIG. HAIRY. AUDACIOUS.

Why spend hours cleaning the outside when the pest control folks will undo my work in a matter of minutes?

Okay so enough about my windows. Looking at this photo…can you imagine being the person assigned to cleaning these doozies? Neither can I.

That’s a job I would pass on in a heartbeat.

Which got me thinking about other tasks I like to pass on…

Feeding the dogs who reside outside.
Pulling out the refrigerator and cleaning under it.
Hand washing all the lovely (but dust gathering) glassware
.

Give me jobs I can sink my teeth into…like repairing a relationship gone wrong.

Or not.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Though I’ve read this passage a thousand times (at least) it always stops me in my tracks and I feel compelled to do a fast “relational” check-up with all the people in my world.

I think about the past few weeks and briefly do a quick mental run-down to see if I am living at peace with everyone.

Family.
Friends.
Colleagues.
Acquaintances
.

I start with my immediate circle of “people” and work outward.

If I’m able to scan quickly through these circles I’m pretty sure things are okay between us…but…and this is a big “but“…if I catch myself ruminating over one person’s name (envisioning a painful conversation or silence)…I’m done for.

My next step compels me to dig deeper into my part of the problem that exists between us. Then all my peace-full thoughts can go straight out the window because I’m remembering what I said, how I said it, or what I did (or didn’t) that caused this disturbance of the peace.

My peace (and theirs.)

Sarah Young talks about one of the surest ways to know if you’re not at peace with a person. It’s what you’re thinking about them

She writes –

To live at peace with everyone, you need to control not only what you say and do but also what you think. It’s common to assume that your thoughts about others don’t matter much, as long as you keep them to yourself. However, when you indulge in negative thinking about someone, your relationship with that person is damaged.

It’s true isn’t it?

Even when we demonstrate self-control in not speaking our minds…we’re still harming the relationship (and saying bye-bye to any semblance of peace) with that person when we think badly of them.

Young notes another obstacle to peace — taking the first step toward it.

Most people prefer to live peacefully with others, but when there are conflicts, many wait for the other person to make the first move. Problems inevitably arise when both parties wait for the other to take the first step.

I don’t know about you, but when I finally get something cleared up with another person…it makes me breathe easier.

And yes, that first step toward peace is often the hardest one to take.

But I’ve found (happily) that the majority of the time…everyone desires peace as much as I do (we’re all just too scared to be the first one to speak up and for peace.)

So on this Memorial Day weekend as we’re remembering all the sacrifices our military men and women have made to keep peace around our country’s borders; how about we take a brief mental inventory to see that we are peacemakers within our own personal borders?

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Promises, Promises — We Make Them (and then break them)

Go out on a limb – that’s where the fruit is. Will Rogers

I’ve decided that when I make a promise to someone (anyone) I’m really going out on a limb.

When I promise to do something, be somewhere, bring something, or follow through on something…I’m also counting on a lot of “somethings” to fall into place.

Like

Time (never enough of this)
Availability (even with a calendar in hand we can’t always predict this)
Energy (always an uncertainty)
Money (what we have today, we may not have next week)
Skills (sometimes we thought we had what it takes and were wrong)
Material Resources (see Money above)

Even more likely

My ever-changing mood, the level of my emotions, or my current desire to offer forgiveness if you’ve offended me.

It’s really embarrassing to admit that there are moments when I know I have to carry through with a promise and what’s standing in the way of me doing so (happily)…is ME.

In truth, I try to never, ever promise something I can’t follow through on delivering. I try to take into account what it will take to carry through before I say yes.

But sometimes, even our best-laid plans (and intentions) fall apart around our feet through no fault of our own.

Understandable.
Expected.
Not a big deal.
Can happen every day
.

But, it’s a completely different story when I willfully withhold the good I can offer because I simply choose not to follow through.

Ick.

Going out on a limb here

While I don’t ever want to become a person whose automatic reply is a rushed, “NO!” before I even stop to consider the outlay on my part; I do want to become a person who takes into account the cost of breaking a promise given.

I need to become keenly aware that when I say “Yes” it means no matter how I feel, how strongly my emotions might be tugging at me to pull out; or how deeply wounded I might feel; I still carry through.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

Doing the following through — with the right attitude. Ouch.

I’m so like that little girl whose father made her sit in the chair for a timeout and she complied but answered back, “I might be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside.”

Attitude is everything.

In the making of promises.
In the breaking of them
.

So cross my heart and hope to die (well…not really die), I’m going to take more care in my promise-making so I won’t be guilty of promise-breaking.

Because I know deep down that even if I carry through on the outside when my inside’s all wrong…I’m not really following through with my promise to be there for someone. And that someone can tell.

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Addendum to — Why I Love Medicine?

Not too long ago I wrote about why I love medicine and I couldn’t leave the topic of that post alone because I’m adding to my list of “whys” here.

Welcome with me the newest addition to the Ibsen family and brother to Ella and Chase.

Noah Anders Ibsen
Born 7:42 am on May 13th (Mother’s Day!) at 32 weeks

3 lbs. 15 oz & 17 inches long

Mom Jill and dad Erik are among the most wonderful people around and when Jill went into labor early; without the benefit of modern medicine, their little guy would have had a much harder time.

So what better reason to love medicine is there?

For the life of me I can’t think of a single one.

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The Ultimate Antiaging Drug: Curiosity

Curiosity is what preserves you. It’s the antiaging drug par excellence. Henri Salvador

I came across this quote in a book on the art of growing old and it's stuck with me.

At first, I wasn't sure if I agreed…then the more I thought about Salvador's statement I thought, he's right.

Think about all the old(er) folks you know and what it is about them that draws you to some and makes you want to run from others?

I think it’s a generous spirit.
An adventurous spirit.
A spirit of curiosity that’s always willing to try something new
.

This revelation hit me this week when I started clicking through photos my son took of his travels through Turkey (a place I’ve never had a desire to visit.)

That is, until I saw his photos and the place came alive for me.

Now, I’m rethinking my former stance on traveling to this colorful country.

And while I may or may not ever get there in person…I’m enjoying brief trips there every day via photos and conversations with someone who’s been there.

Honestly, I get energized thinking about these faraway places, people, sights, tastes, and smells.

I’m curious about what it would be like to step into their shoes for a while and see life from their perspective.

With all this latent energy bursting through my system I ought to find a way to bottle it — Curiosity: the ultimate antiaging drug.

Try it, you might like it too.

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Best Read Books Worldwide: How Many of These Best-sellers Have You Read?

I think this is a real interesting statement about what people value most.

Turn your head sideways to read the titles on these books (sorry about that…I think I’ve written on posture somewhere so that should take care of the crick in your neck when you’re done reading.) :)

If you take a quick accounting of the subject matter found in these titles you’ll notice a few things.

People value stories which take them out of their everyday lives.
People value faith which helps them make sense of life (and death.)
People value money which enables them to reduce their myriad forms of discomfort (at least for about five minutes.)
People value being inspired…which all of these books achieve to some degree or another
.

I’m looking around my office at my own bookshelves and doing an internal check on those books I’ve opted to keep, refer to, quote from, and dive into on occasion.

I’m no different from the “people” reading the books found on this graph.

I read stories for entertainment.
I read the Bible for meaning of life/death issues.
I read books about making money (almost caught you, didn’t I?)

Rather than read books on how to get rich….I work hard every day, give thanks for what I’ve been given, and leave the money-grubbers to their own devices.

I read, read, read…all of the above…for inspiration.

What do you read for?

Better question.

How does what you read change you?

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Ten Things I Learned in the Operating Room: First as a Patient—Then as a Journalist Observer

Seven years ago, I entered the OR as a patient needing the first of six subsequent shoulder surgeries. After my third trip through those ominously swinging doors, I realized that while I was getting pretty experienced at moving through the paces of prepping and recovering from surgeries, I still had zero understanding at what was happening during the procedures themselves. It dawned on me that it might be quite fascinating for me to watch firsthand how a surgeon actually repairs problematic shoulders like mine.

At this point it would be prudent for me to offer a disclaimer. There are a number of excellent reasons to ask for permission to enter an operating room (as an observer) and some not nearly so noble. As a writer, columnist and book author, I viewed this opportunity as part professional research, part personal enrichment. To my great delight, it turned out to be both of the above (and then some). Though observing surgeries greatly exceeded my expectations, let’s be clear about what actually unfolds in a real operating room bears little resemblance to television’s glamorized fictional accounts. Here is the real deal, and believe me, it’s way better (for your health and mine) than any screenwriter can muster up.

Revisiting this list and what I learned while in the OR, put the bug in me to observe again. It’s the one place I know where there is never a dull moment. Thanks to my surgeon, Dr. Foetisch, for allowing me this cool opportunity to observe firsthand how these professionals do their fine work. :)

1.Anesthesiologists may divide their time – Depending on the size of the hospital, the anesthesiologist assigned to your case may not be in the operating room with you during your entire procedure. Contrary to what I previously thought, the person administering the anesthesia doesn’t necessarily stay at your side for the duration. In line with each particular hospital’s protocol, an anesthesiologist may start the anesthetic and then turn it over to a nurse anesthetist who cares for the patient during the operation. Some anesthesiologists move from one operating room to room to another overseeing multiple procedures (and patients) at a time.

2.Instrument trays are often pre-made – Surgical tech nurses whose job it is to hand the instruments to the surgeon during the operation do not go to a stock room prior to a procedure and put together a list of needed instruments piece by piece. Basic instruments are in sets owned by the hospital. These instruments are grouped in sets specific to the procedure. For operations such as joint replacements, however, an independent company does provide the instruments used for this type of procedure but does not provide the basic instruments such as; retractors, forceps, scissors, etc.

3.Closing up the wound site – Even though your surgeon makes the first incision, he may or may not be the one stitching you up after the procedure is complete. Depending upon your surgeon’s practices and preferences, his surgical technician may do the final closing up of your wound because the surgeon might already be out debriefing your family on how the operation went.

4.Why surgery start times are elastic – Surgery schedules are flexible, sort of. Even though you might be scheduled for a 10:30am operation (and you have to arrive at the hospital two hours earlier for surgery preps), your procedure could be delayed for several reasons. The previous patient’s operation might have taken longer than the surgeon expected (you never know what you’re going to find until you’ve been opened up). Or, an emergency add-on might have been scheduled in between yours and another patient’s procedure.

5.Order is everything – There’s a place for everything and everything in its place and this goes for timing too. Each OR staff member has a specific role to play which falls perfectly in place with the other medical personnel. Liken the OR to a finely tuned symphony where every musician knows when and how to use his instrument in harmony with his colleagues to execute an intricate musical performance. Same skill, different dance.

6.Safety, first, last and every step in between – There are many safety protocols carried out in the OR to protect every patient from possible error. Every nurse, technician, and physician, will repeatedly require a patient to state their name, spelling, birth date, and more just to be sure “you know” and “they know” who’s getting what done. The final “check” is having your surgeon place his autograph on your body so once you’re under the sway of an anesthetic there’s no question about it, you’ve given permission and the evidence is written in black and white.

7.Sales representatives know more than you think – If you’re having any type of replacement surgery done, the sales representative whose joint replacement hardware is being used will also be in the OR. Interesting fact, these sales reps understand the surgical procedures step by step just like the other surgical staff members. Prior to placing the replacement part into the patient’s body, the rep and the surgeon will call out the model type/number/size of the hardware multiple times so there’s no chance of error.

8.Surgeons invest hours, patients invest months – Though a patient begins the process of gaining better health by undergoing a medical procedure that may take several hours, this operation is but the first step in a long process of healing for which the patient must take primary responsibility. The surgeon and his staff work for a couple of hours in the OR (after having invested years in education and training), and then the patient works for several months to regain his health.

9.Fitter prior to surgery makes recover faster – The physical state of a patient’s health upon entering the OR matters more than most people realize. A patient’s weight and overall fitness level makes a huge difference on how smoothly a procedure will go. The fitter a patient is before surgery, in general, the faster and less stressful the recovery.

10.OR staffers take their jobs seriously – There is an underlying level of tension in the room because no matter how smoothly a procedure goes, everyone in the room is keenly aware that they’re handling a person’s life in their hands. Though naturally accepted as part of their job description as medical professionals, it was obvious to me as an outside observer (and as a patient) that they take this responsibility seriously (and that’s good to know).

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