No Side-Stepping Around It…the Issue is Crystal Clear

When I spotted this photo on a friend’s site, I thought pretty shoes! My second thought was, “I’ll never wear them.”

Though I love the colors, the designs, and even the heels, I also know my limitations. If I were to wear any one of these cool shoes, I’d better be hanging on tight to someone’s arm or…everyone around me better give me wide berth…because I don’t know how long I’d stay in an upright vertical position.

Not to say I don’t own heels…I do.

But these are mega-heels and I don’t trust myself alone in them.

It would hazardous to my health (namely, my muscles, tendons and bones if I decided to wear these high heels every day.)

Doesn’t matter how pretty they are on the outside…it’s my insides I have to be concerned about. And I am.

Which got me thinking about a book I’m reading by Alejandro Junger, M.D., cardiologist and author of Clean: Remove, Restore, Rejuvenate.

Junger explains the necessity of taking steps every day to detox our bodies so that we’re able to live (and move) in optimal health no matter how young or old we are.

I appreciated his take on detoxing because often other professionals suggest extreme methods to clean the body out…while Junger gives every day people some simple every day recommendations for eating, walking, and breathing better.

I think everyone knows the value of detoxing our bodies…but most people feel uninformed or overwhelmed to tackle it at home.

So here’s some simple steps to take for better health by Junger.

1. Drink More Water. Too often we misinterpret thirst for hunger. Our signal for thirst may cause us to eat as we mistake it for hunger pains. Reach for water first and make sure you are well hydrated before eating any meal throughout the day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner included.

Where possible make sure to drink your water at least 30 minutes before eating as this will allow time for the water to properly penetrate the cells of your body and hydrate your stomach lining in preparation for proper digestion. I like to add lemon juice and apple cider vinegar to my water or green it up with barley grass powder, wheatgrass powder, spirulina or chlorella.

2. Add A Green Juice To Your Day. Green juices are an amazing way to add life giving and detoxifying plant chlorophyll to your bloodstream. As Jason Vale says in ‘Hungry For Change’, “juicing is the ultimate fast food, it is a 15 minute nutrient express to health“.

Green Juice Recipe Ideas:

- Celery, lemon and pear (or apple)
- Celery, cucumber, lemon (leave the skin on) and pear (or apple)
- Celery, cucumber, kale, lemon and pear (or apple)
- Celery, cucumber, lemon, parsley and pear (or apple)

3. Add More Parsley and Cilantro (Coriander) To Your Diet Parsley and cilantro (coriander) are very powerful natural green plant foods for detoxing heavy metals out of your body. Add these amazing herbs to juices, salads, soups and meals.

Heavy Metal Detox Pesto Recipe:

3 cloves garlic
1/3 cup Brazil nuts (selenium source) or macadamia nuts
1/3 cup sunflower seeds (cysteine source)
1/3 cup pumpkin seeds (zinc, magnesium sources)
1 cup fresh cilantro (corriander)
1 cup parsley
2/3 cup cold pressed olive oil
4 tablespoons lemon juice (Vitamin C source)
Big pinch of sea salt and or dulse flakes to flavor

Soak the seeds and nuts over night to release the enzyme exhibitors. Process the parsley, cilantro (corriander) and olive oil in a blender until chopped. Add the garlic, nuts, and seeds, salt / dulse and lemon juice and mix until the mixture is finely blended into a paste. Store in dark glass jars if possible. It freezes well also if needs be.

4. Breathe Deep Into Your Abdomen Deep breathing, where you fill your belly and expand your diaphragm downwards, is one of the most powerful exercise you can do to activate your lymph system which helps to detoxify your body. Think of your lymph system as your own personal garbage removal system (which most of us will need in full steam after the holiday season). Practise 10 deep slow breaths counting 4 seconds in, 8 seconds hold and 8 seconds out. You can do this exercise watching the TV, walking the dog, during meditation or whilst practising yoga.

According to the ‘Tao of Breathing’ up to 70% of our body’s waste products are eliminated via our lungs and the rest through the urine, skin and feces. When the efficiency of our lungs is reduced due to poor breathing less oxygen is available to our cells, it slows down the flow of blood which carries wastes from the kidneys and lungs. Our lymphatic system which fights off viral and bacterial invaders is weakened along with a slower digestive process.

Incorporating these easy steps into our daily routine will get everyone “stepping lively” all through their days (and nights.)

Recalling Times of Failure as a Safeguard for the Future

I felt actual tears come to my eyes this week when I heard that Chuck Colson had died.

I was surprised at my own reaction.

I started thinking about how much his written work had influenced and affected me over the years. Partly because his life story is so dramatic…partly because he was such a brilliant communicator.

I admit that I’ve always been drawn to intelligence.

When people ask me what I would want if I could have anything?

I’d ask to be “gifted” in the academic sense of the word. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a photographic memory, to understand complex principles and retain them, and to just “get it” and “remember it” without a lot of effort.

I’ll pass on the money, power, and fame…..but give me a gifted mind and I’m good to go.

Which is why I’m so drawn to Chuck Colson.

Here is a man who as Nixon’s right hand man…had money, power, and fame…but it was his downfall.

Once his life was destroyed by the pursuit of those very same three…he found a new way, a better way to live.

Regardless of where we stand on the faith spectrum, you have to admire Colson’s life and his choices.

He knew himself well…so he guarded himself from the lure of money, power, and fame for the remainder of his days.

As I listened to various commentators expound upon Colson’s life…every single one of them had the greatest respect and admiration for the man.

His legacy won’t be forgotten.

Nor will his warning.

Colson was quoted as saying, each of us needs to know our hearts (and our weaknesses) so well that we safeguard ourselves from repeating past mistakes. Do whatever it takes…Colson admonished…to steer clear of those troublesome inner-insatiable desires for “….insert yours here…” whatever you combat.

Learn from your past failures as a safeguard for the future…simply stated from a man who lived what he spoke.

She Would Cook — Time in the Kitchen Can Solve Any Problem

Esther's Orange Marmalade Cake

She moved from the window and walked quickly to the kitchen. She would do something that, if only for the briefest hour, had the power to solve everything, to offer certain and absolute consolation.

She would cook.
Jan Karon

I laughed out loud when I read this little three word quote in
A Common Life by Jan Karon.

I didn’t think anyone else did this…

And then I started thinking about the countless times when I’ve felt…

Baffled.
Stumped.
Stuck.
Frustrated.

And…I’d head to the kitchen…not to eat…but to cook.

For some odd reason, baking and cooking does it for me.

Relaxes me.
Calms me down.
Soothes my jangled nerves.

It’s also a very productive way to relax.

Because everyone has to eat, right?

So today…because I’m not sure how some larger than life issues are going to work themselves out…and I’m done trying to figure out how they might turn out…I decided to call it a day and go cook to my heart’s content.

And while I’m dicing up vegetables, cooking the rice, simmering the sauce to pour over the chicken, I have this familiar feeling that lots of the earlier emotion of the day will subside as I get lost in the realm of moving through the motion of everyday things.

Cooking — my recipe to solving any problem.

Living by the 80/20 Rule

Last week I had the opportunity to get up close and personal with hundreds of high school students/athletes/and their families. It was interesting…especially for a people watcher like myself.

My daughter and I worked for several hours at a local high school concession stand while a track invitational was running.

And were we ever busy…

Handing out food (written in the loosest sense of the definition), drink (come again), making change, directing people to the restrooms, and just generally conversing with one and all.

What I noticed most was how courteous all the young people were…and it was obvious that a variety of socio-economic population segments were represented here. Just about every boy or girl who came through to buy something made sure to ask courteously, wait patiently, and then thank us when we handed them back their change.

It gave me pause…because we hear so much about kids being raised on the entitlement doctrine that’s spreading across our nation like never before.

But this eclectic group of kids gave me hope.

Somebody(ies) taught them to be mannerly…wait for their turn…and express gratitude for what they’re given.

As a mom, it made my heart swell with pride and joy (just as if they were my very own kids.)

These young people were taking what they learned in their homes and then taking this lesson of civility into their world.

What did cause me some alarm was the food choices they were making…not so good.

I felt an inner pang of guilt with every Peanut M&M’s, Blue Gatorade, and Sour Patch Kids, I handed over. I felt slightly less guilty about selling pizza (but that’s my own personal dietary downfall and a topic for another post.)

But honestly, these kids are smart, they’re athletes…and they’re eating mindlessly (and can I say irresponsibly…)

We teased some of them saying, “Enjoy that fast food dinner…” and they laughed as they ripped open the packages and devoured them…before their events…

I know it’s impossible to eat healthy all of the time…but if we’d adopt the 80/20 rule (at home and out and about)…we’d all be a lot healthier.

Next time, I want to request some healthy alternatives to sell…like fruit, veggies, cheese…something…anything…that will help these kids compete better on the track (and in life.)

So my conclusion to my people watching observation experiment is this —

Moms and dads are doing a great job overall of imparting the value of courtesy.

But we have a way to go in imparting the value of eating in a way that builds strong minds and bodies.

The 80/20 Rule — it’s something we can all live (and grow) by.

A Cheerful Mind Works Healing…How Thoughts Mirror Life

Ali Anne Photography

A happy heart is good medicine, and a cheerful heart works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

I love the mental picture this proverb conjures up in my mind. I like the internal scene I envision as someone who is smiling, happy, and whose outlook contains an uplook. Their cheerful thoughts mirroring good actions and choices into their life.

Especially, I like the warning in the second part of this principle, the adage that those with a broken spirit (heart) become dried up, brittle, and hard to be around. Not a face you want to see looking back at you in the mirror.

Lately, I’ve been hearing lots of news that has been causing good people to “lose heart.”

And that just breaks mine.

It is hard to be cheerful when people are hurting (harder still to smile through pain.)

Would that I could just spread some healing dust over a situation and make it magically disappear…because that’s exactly what I would do.

And I’d be wrong.

Alleviating another’s difficult situation (or wanting to do so) is a kindness…but sometimes letting things work themselves out over time (and working through the hardship) is the most loving act of all.

Women especially, tend to rush in and fix whatever is broken.

Broken toys.
Broken spirits.
Broken bodies.
Broken dreams.
Broken relationships.
Broken hearts.

Because we feel others’ hurts so deeply, we prefer the fast-food approach to solving heart-breaking problems…and yet, anyone who has been a parent knows you have to allow your children to experience some bumps and bruises, some cause and effect, some hurts and losses, along life’s way…otherwise they’ll never be equipped to handle life outside the protective confines of home.

So…we give those we love room to get a little bumped around and bruised up so they can develop the inner strength to persevere through disappointments, setbacks, and other life challenges (when outsiders won’t be so kind and merciful as we are.)

As our loved ones journey through the rough patches, we stand with them so they don’t lose heart…and until they re-orient their minds to see the bigger picture and press through to the other side.

The real beauty of dealing with heartbreak is when you come full circle and all that pain is transformed into a changed heart and mind.

When what you see is…

A beautifully broken but wondrously lovable perfectly imperfect person whose pain mirrors back hope to everyone around them.

Reading the Fine Print — Not Missing Out on Life

I love to read.
I hate reading the fine print.

Because I have to read carefully (critically) as I review books for work…I tend to take a different approach to anything not work related.

I’m a skimmer.

When I pick up a magazine or a newspaper, I turn to the back page or cover and flip through both from back to front stopping briefly on any headline or photo that catches my eye.

Then, I do just the opposite. I thumb through both front to back, skimming the headlines for anything that catches my attention.

Why?

I don’t have time to read everything that comes across my desk or into my mail/paper box…so I skim over the non-essentials and look for the good stuff…information that is pertinent to my life.

I’ve always thought it was a great system…until someone asked me if I read a particular article and started quizzing me on the content.

I realized I didn’t read it closely enough to make any sensible or intelligible comments about the information therein. So…skimming has its limitations, I just didn’t see it before. That was my first clue.

My second clue came a few days later when I’d found I’d been doing a lot more skimming of late than I realized.

After I picked up two books at the library this week, I started thumbing through one…ack…I had requested a large print book! Horrors…I don’t need large print…I hate large print…I feel like I’m back in elementary school reading Dick and Jane word books and have this urge to start sounding out the words and reading aloud. Picture regressing.

It was bad enough that I wasn’t careful enough to read the fine print when I requested this book…now I have to suffer through it while being distracted that 1. I made a mistake 2. I am reminded that someday I will need large print. 3. I will someday revert back to sounding out basic words and syllables because my memory will be shot.

I couldn’t take it after about 30 pages…I put the book down and decided to request the same title in regular print. I could wait.

I opted instead for the second book…you guessed it…as soon as I opened it up I realized I made the same mistake twice…large print again! Head shaking. Groan.

Apparently, my mind as well as my reading ability are already shot.

There’s only one solution.

I have to slow down and pace myself.

I have to start reading the fine print…in written material and in life.

Think before I hit the “enter” key.
Pause before I reply back without considering the weight of my words.
Linger longer in the moment, even the difficult ones.
Stop long enough to read the fine print in each and every situation.

I might be surprised at how much I find out there that is pertinent to my life that I was missing.

The Friends Who Listen…

Ali Anne Photography

The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius. Karl Menninger

Don’t you love this quote?

I do.

I envision my closest friends huddled together sharing our struggles, sharing a laugh, sharing our hopes for the future.

Just sharing.

I think that’s the essential ingredient.

Listen well to what someone is saying (or not saying.)

And here’s the important part….

Pause.

Allow some air-time to develop before responding.

Then answer back in such a way that the next time your friend has something to share…you’ll be the first person they’ll run toward.

The opposite is true as well.

When we don’t listen well…others will move away from us.

John Maxwell writes —

A funny thing happens when you don’t make a practice of listening to people. They find others who will. Anytime employees, spouses, colleagues, children, or friends no longer believe they are being listened to, they seek out people who will give them what they want. Sometimes the consequences can be disastrous; the end of a friendship, lack of authority at work, lessened parental influence, or the breakdown of a marriage.

Out of the Mouths of Drunks…with thanks to Heather Kopp

I really hope I won’t get into trouble here (taking the liberty of reposting another post)…but when I read Heather Kopp’s post this morning on her site, Sober Boots, I went back to her list several times…and kept answering the question she posed at the bottom.

Heather asked her readers, “Do any of these ideas resonate with you?”

Silently…I thought, yep, every one of them.

I don’t know if that admission makes me honest or pathetic (maybe both.) But as I read through her compilation of sayings she’s heard in recovery, I kept thinking about how each one of them weaves into our hearts and minds and often takes us on a journey we don’t want to go on…then we spend lots of time, energy, and effort…in recovery.

I could go on and on belaboring these points from my perspective…but I won’t. I’d much rather you go to Heather’s site and read the entire story from hers…she’s got a lot to say and has a beautiful way of expressing thoughts and sentiments many people are too afraid to say out loud.

Enough said…here is Heather’s list…feel free to agree or disagree all you want…but remember, as Heather says…we’re all beautifully broken people no matter where we land in the recovery process.

Ten Things I’ve Learned In the Rooms of Recovery

1. Expectations of others are premeditated resentments.

2. You can’t keep what you have unless you give it away.

3. God can do for me what I can’t do for myself—but first I have to give up trying.

4. In God’s hands our broken past can become our greatest asset.

5. We don’t need something to fill our emptiness, just the courage to leave it empty.

6. We can’t feel comfortable in every situation, but we can get more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

7. A problem is something we can change but won’t—or something we can’t change, but won’t accept.

8. Drama and crisis are usually optional.

9. Every problem has a spiritual solution.

10. What you think about me is none of my business.

Guest Post by Denise4Health – When Do You Become a Breast Cancer Survivor?

Today I read that someone had taken a poll asking breast cancer patients, “When Do You Become a Breast Cancer Survivor?”

The poll takers were offered options: at diagnosis, after surgery, at the end of treatment, after your 5-year checkup, or whenever you say you are a survivor. More than half of all responses favored the idea that you are a survivor when you say you are – not based on the opinion of others, not measured by medical milestones, not determined by your culture – but based solely on your own declaration.

On October 10, 2011 my family doctor of 32 years, who has been part friend, all doctor, called to tell me the results of my breast biopsy. Her words were, “Denise, it isn’t good.” She didn’t use those words lightly, even though her words might not have sounded very scholarly. Through the years, she has called me countless times to give me test results. Her voice was full of emotion this time, on the verge of tears. I asked her if I was Stage IV. She said, “I don’t know as yet,” which meant it was a very real possibility. From that moment on, I knew I was in for a rough ride and that I would be fighting for my life.

A few days later and two days before I went to the University of Michigan for my official diagnosis, I went to our family cottage to close it up for the winter. When I arrived, even more emotion gripped me as I remembered my father being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer also in October and by the time we reopened the cottage in the Spring, he was gone. It was a horrible time for my family to reopen the cottage without my beloved dad present.

So through the years, I have taken my dad’s place and became the person to close the cottage. Thinking of my own cancer diagnosis, I wrote notes to my family members so they would know what to do in the spring if I wasn’t there to do it — turn on the electrical breakers, test the air conditioner, turn on the dishwasher switch. Through every note, I sobbed. Many times I would have to start the note over because it had gotten ruined from my tears. By the time I was finished, I had notes all over the house. And in one last note, I told my family how much I loved all of them and was sorry I had to leave them.

After diagnosis with Stage III Breast Cancer, going through surgery and now still going through Chemotherapy, I forgot about the notes left at the cottage. A few weeks ago, on a beautiful, sunny spring day, my sister asked if I wanted to take a drive to the cottage. When we arrived, I unlocked the front door, walked in, and saw the notes. My sister followed behind me. She took one look at the notes and started to cry. We hugged full of gratitude that I was still here!

I now realize the day my sister and I visited the cottage on that spring afternoon was the day I became a Breast Cancer Survivor because I say I am. I didn’t think I would make it through the winter, but I did!

Rejoice with me!

Loss of Static versus Loss of Complacency

Earlier this week I read a book about transitions and the author made some excellent points about how life is always in “transition.”

Doesn’t matter if you are ten, twenty, forty, fifty, seventy, or eighty.

As people, we are always moving from one state to another…and as we do…lots of uncomfortable (and even dangerous) emotions materialize out of nowhere.

When we are moving into a new place, position, relationship…things get shaken up (generally from the inside out.)

What we once relied on to get us through often isn’t enough anymore.

Why?

The positive take on moving from a state of static is growth (whether we like it or not.)

The tricky part is that when transition arrives we have to come to terms with loss as its companion. It’s true…we can’t have it both ways.

We can sit tight wherever we are (and grow stagnant and old in body and mind.)

Or we can move into new seasons feeling lots of discomfort, ill-at-ease, and unsure of ourselves (but growing, stretching, and reaching for all life has to offer.)

Speaking as a person who hates change (and surprises) this is not an easy concept to swallow.

It feels dangerous to me.

I’d much rather make my to-do list and stick to it.

But I know that when I opt for safety and control over stepping out and going for it…I become a stick-in-the-mud complacent drudge.

Picture that in your mind’s eye!

I keep reminding myself that my very best days have been in direct correlation with my most “risky” (in the best possible sense of the word) moments.

I think it’s also true, “No pain, no gain.”

Honestly, the older I get, I see more danger surrounding complacency than any amount of moving out of our comfort zone choices.

Since life is anything but static…let’s move toward that which grows us, deepens us, and challenges us.

Because everyone knows complacency will kill you.