Displaying Creativity — It Could Be Your Life Theme

When my children were young I would spend lots of time looking at all sorts of beautifully decorated themed cakes for their birthdays. Year after year, I would tell myself, “I can do this!”

And I would try…

Somehow though, my “creations” never matched up to the full color photos displayed in specialty dessert magazines (or to this gorgeous cake baked and skillfully decorated by a friend of mine for her son’s third birthday.)

Apparently, I lacked the “creative touch” when it came to decorating with frosting and other edible adornments.

But, oh how I tried…I maintained this slim hope that if other people could create a visual masterpiece then so could I.

Never happened. What I needed to do was realize my limitations and partner with those who could do what I couldn’t (Isn’t that what professional bakers are for? Baking? They bake. I buy.)

I finally gave up and decided my kids would value a cool purchased cake just as much as any homemade one (and maybe more) because the store-bought cake didn’t rely on my explanations of what the cake was supposed to be (or look like…)

“Yes, honey, that is a Ladybug…” Sigh.

Interestingly, though I’ve failed at cake decorating, I think I’ve learned how to encourage “creativity” in myself and those around me.

One the most essential ingredients is to nurture a new idea like one would a fledgling flower seed…you water it, give it ample sunlight, fertilize it…whatever it takes to get it to grow (that includes some gentle hovering at the beginning stage.)

I appreciate how author Charlie Brower puts it…

“A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man’s brow.”

Unfortunately….

“Negative environments kill thousands of great ideas every minute.”

On the other hand, speaker John Maxwell cites, “a creative environment is like a greenhouse where ideas get seeded, sprout up, and flourish.“

Maxwell says to get a workplace (or home) to function at its most effective and efficient best…creativity is one of the nonnegotiables.

His recommendations?

Encourage creativity - give people permission to be creative.
Build Trust - creative people need to be able to trust in a team effort.
Embrace those who are creative - celebrate the offbeat, don’t run from it.
Focus on innovation, not just invention - making a good idea a better one.
Live outside the lines - open up the limitations so people grow past them.
Appreciate the power of a dream - goals may give focus, but dreams expand the world and empower it.

We can either live dull, predictable lives…or we can choose to liven it up with lots of creativity…remembering though that pressing for creativity isn’t always comfortable (because with creativity comes tension)…still it’s definitely more exciting (and colorful.)

Hello Rubber — Meet Road (Taking Care of Those You Care About Over Long Distances)

I can’t remember the last time I hesitated walking (or driving) down the street for fear of getting hit in the head by ice. But apparently, it is a risk for those living in Boston.

Looking ahead when driving (and walking) is a must. Looking ahead in the care-giving realm is also a must…because potential hazards can hit you before you see them coming. When they do, it can feel like a head-on collision that leaves you spinning out of control with no way to get back on track.

With some caution (and some planning) there’s a smoother road to take…and it’s similar to the map-studying exercise you undertake before embarking on a road trip of any distance.

Read on to discover your best options for meeting the practical needs of those you love “before you need them.”

Dr. Foetisch shares some valuable recommendations for care-giving long-distance…

Given the way families are changing, expanding, and moving around; there’s a fair chance that most women will find themselves having to lend a hand to those they love long distance.

This scenario may not feel so daunting when family members are still reasonably fit and mostly able care for themselves, but what happens when the unexpected, the unplanned occurs?

What may be a surprise to many women is that while there are some resources available for taking care of loved ones long distance; it is important to know the accessibility factor has its limitations.

· DETOURS – Those who want to access effective, comprehensive care for family members living far away would be surprised to learn that there really are no universal organizations set up to deal with ongoing long-term care-giving issues. Though there are agencies for elder abuse and related protective services, individuals will have to do their own legwork to find assistance city by city.

· LONG WAY AROUND – While there isn’t a one stop-all agency for every care-need scenario, families can find temporary assistance on a piecemeal basis. If a family member is in the hospital for any reason, address any questions and concerns to the staff social worker. These in-house representatives will be the most familiar with all local agencies available and can explain what types of services are offered and covered by various insurance/state-funded plans. Another potential bump is that most benefits are only covered for a period of a few short weeks.

· SHORTEST ROUTE – If your family member lives far away and is in need of help; your best option is to go directly to the source. In the long run, you’ll save time (and possibly avoid catastrophe) if you personally visit your loved one’s home, familiarize yourself with their surroundings, and become acquainted with their community and any/all those resources available to them.

Make My Day (Meeting) – Make Me Laugh

One look at this photo and one word comes to mind.

Bored. (And that’s not funny.)

While there are times when we feel bored or can hardly wait to move to the next thing…one of the hardest places to experience boredom is in the boardroom.

Meetings are part of everyone’s work environment and most of them contain some amount of dull information.

So what does a smart professional do (note I didn’t say a smart aleck?)

Speaker Sam Glenn says everyone needs to learn how to insert some element of humor into every conversation, interaction, meeting.

Why?

Glenn is convinced that lots of positives begin happening when employers and employees take getting a laugh seriously.

Here’s just a few of the benefits of saving your colleagues from what Glenn terms, “terminal professionalism.”

Humor – according to Glenn —

Creates positive human connection.
Lightens up meetings.
Creates an attitude that makes a person more likable.
Causes people to enjoy what they do more.
Opens the door to a prospective client.
Helps people become more resilient in challenging situations.
Develops indivdiuals’ self-confidence.

What’s not to love?

Glenn also offers a four-step process to get you (and those around you) started on the path to becoming a fun(ny) person.

1. Make the choice to lighten up.
2. Practice.
3. Stay around people who laugh.
4. Collect humorous material.

Getting Lost in IKEA — Where There’s Always More to Choose

Shopping at the IKEA store is the ultimate “big box” shopping experience. In fact, it is so big that I felt a brief moment of panic when I found myself separated from my son (he’s twenty…years…not months old.)

I could envision the service desk intercom issuing a request, “Will the son of Michele Howe please come to the Lost and Found area immediately and retrieve your mother?”

That’s how big this place is and how small I felt.

Amidst all those products, colors, sizes, styles, and choices…it was too much.

Way too much.

I kept thinking about how blessed we are to have these choices in America. Then, I thought again.

Are we?

There’s many a time when I’ve walked through the grocery store and stood in front of what felt like a thousand different kinds of bread, or produce, or chips, or even ice cream, and I felt depleted and unable to decide.

I would have loved for a hand to just reach out and toss one of each into my cart so I could get on my way without having to choose.

Instead of making me feel free and happy about having such choices…I most often feel confined.

Who are we to “need” this much? And what does it say about us as a people?

I think author Will Samson says it best in his fine book, Enough: Contentment in an Age of Excess.

“Lifestyle diseases – what are they? Simply put, lifestyle diseases are those diseases caused by the way in which we live our life. Perhaps lifestyle disease is communicable. You catch it through prosperity.”

You “is” Because I Said So…

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

Once you hear these words spoken by Aibileen to Mae Mobley (and similar words by Constantine to Skeeter) in The Help (and hear them repeated throughout the film and the book), the message gets through.

Our words matter. They count.

I like how author/speaker/counselor, Paul Tripp puts it.

“Talk is not cheap because interpretation is not cheap. The way we interpret life determines how we will respond to it.”

Our words, especially when spoken to children, especially then, need to be laced with intentionality and kindness. Our words must be responsible (because how and what we say changes, forms, influences, and directs people.)

Because what we “is” is in somewhat framed by what others have said to us…

Here’s an excerpt from Tripp’s book, War of Words.

“The most powerful way we influence each other is through words, which encourage, rebuke, explain, teach, define, condemn, love, question, divide, unite, sell, counsel, judge, reconcile, war, worship, slander, and edify. People have influence and words have power.”

Enough said?

It “is“…

You Better Look Up or Others Better Look Out – When You Beg or “Barter” to Feel Better

When I’m sick, I want nothing more than to feel better.

Relief. I can spell it, I can say it, I can envision what it looks like…but I can’t feel it until my immune system does its wonderful work and I kick whatever “it” is that I caught.

I can, however, choose to look up at the bright side of feeling poorly rather than making those close to me “look out” because of my bad mood.

I don’t like getting sick. No one does…but recently I read this quote from a book on managing life’s challenges from a “let’s look at this pain-ridden situation from a different perspective” outlook.

Spurgeon writes –

“I think that health is the greatest blessing that God ever sends us, except sickness, which is far better. I would give anything to be perfectly healthy; but if I had to go over my time again, I could not get on without those sick beds and those bitter pains, and those weary, sleepless nights. Oh, the blessedness that comes to us through smarting, if we are to be helpers of others.”

Made me stop and think (also made a lot of sense to me.) But I wondered if I would recall Spurgeon’s words the next time I was ill.

I did.

In truth, revisiting this perspective (and knowing it to be true), helped me feel better inside (not just my physical side, but my deep, deep inside.)

Looking up is a good principle to follow whenever we’re feeling sick (it’s just as important when we’re feeling down emotionally too.) Here’s how offering a friend the same kind of “look up” lift can help them too.

Every woman can remember when the temptation to give up (or in) to failure and lingering discouragement felt paralyzing. What every woman needs at this pivotal juncture isn’t a plan, a fix-it, or a pep talk. All she needs is a friend who understands. Someone to listen without judgment, without comment, without casting blame. There will be a time for offering suggestions, the next step, or an alternative route, later on.

As women, we need to be tuned in enough to one another’s deepest, most heartfelt needs to recognize there is a right time to lend advice and a right time to withhold it. Sometimes we barter best with the gift of presence alone.

· Barter – B: begin by listening. Sometimes words do get in the way. Emphasize the “b” in simply being there, present and accounted for, listening without mentally working out how to offer advice.

· Barter – A: assign no blame. Mercy rises above judgment. Give it completely, absolutely, and without hesitation. Even if your friend has blundered badly, realize every one of us is only a few steps (or choices) away from the same position.

· Barter – R: resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. Most issues of any significance do not arise overnight and neither do their solutions. Take care and be careful about swiftly offering remedies that may only add to the complexity of the problem.

· Barter – T: take all the time that is needed. There is no gift like the gift of being 100 percent present. No rush. No other agendas or pressing matters vying for your attention and time. Give this gift of focused attentiveness and let your friend know you’re “there” for the duration.

· Barter – E: encourage in a way that is seen, felt, and heard. Be aware that little of what you say will matter as much as how you say it. Let your genuine heartfelt care be visibly apparent through every part of your physical body. Engage your friend with the entirety of you.

· Barter – R: remember we’re all the same inside. Your situation may be different from mine; but inside, where it counts, we’re exactly alike. Respond to another’s distress, even when you don’t understand its cause, in the way you’d want to be treated after enduring your worst fear.

Everyone Needs a Helping Hand

I still remember standing with my head tilted up toward the school’s ancient ceiling in Venice gazing at this painting while our guide continued to lecture on other works.

What I remember most about that rainy spring morning was that I was chilled to the bone in this unheated, very damp building, but as soon as I spotted this painting it spoke to me (and my physical discomfort ceased to matter.)

If works of art could speak, I am positive I would have heard the words, “Pay attention here.”

After our college art history professor/tour guide started explaining the specifics of this painting…I knew I wanted to find a print to take home with me. While no one seemed to take enough interest in this particular work of Tiepolo to make wall sized prints, I did manage to locate a postcard size rendering, which I laminated and now use as a bookmark.

Every time I pull this beloved scene out of the pages of a book, I stop and study this artist’s rendition of a universal truth.

Everyone needs a helping hand.

Everyone.

This painting depicts a muscular angelic being coming to the rescue of a similarly muscular scaffold working man who’s lost his footing and the implication is sure death (if not for this divine rescue.)

While I don’t envision myself falling off high places and requiring this sort of help, I do know enough to take the help of my friends when they see me slipping.

Everyone can agree that certain environments can make us sick. Some are more hazardous than others (like this painting illustrates.) But how often do we stop to consider how our social environment affects us?

Hardly ever, if at all.

This is where good friends step in and care enough to offer a different kind of rescue. They love us enough to ask the hard questions, offer some alternate solutions, and then stand with us while we try to summon up the courage to make some changes (and aren’t relationships just the hardest changes to make?)

As author Larry Julian writes, “Our environment provides the trigger that sparks the best (and the worst) in us.”

Social environments are no exception.

We want to trigger the best in others (and have them do the same in us.)

Another truth — We become most like those with whom we associate with most.

So taking a good look at what (who) sets us off (in the right direction/wrong) is something worth taking note of (and then changing.)

“i” Know Nothing – Catching Up With Technology

Thinner. Lighter. Faster.

FaceTime. Smart Covers. 10-hour battery.

These are the promises the maker of the newest iPad2 advertise.

Since I am the happy owner of an iPad2, I can tell you these promises are 100% true.

It is thinner. It is lighter. It is faster.

There’s facetime. There’s a smartcover. There’s a 10-hour battery.

Perfect.

Except that purchasing an iPad2 doesn’t automatically mean the new owner (me) understands how to utilize all these smart components.

I might have one of the coolest products that contains some of the most powerful applications but until I began making use of them, they’re of no good to me.

As my son recently told me, “You have no idea what this can do!”

Then he began giving me a 15 minute tutorial to help catch me up to speed.

It was great. It was helpful. I couldn’t wait to get home and try it for myself.

Then, I did what many people do when they don’t immediately put new information to use, I forgot it.

All this trying to catch up (and keep up) with the latest technology reminds me of a good life lesson.

Information (and insight) is only effective when it becomes “applied information.” Otherwise there’s a chasm of disconnect that cancels out the positive potential of the information/insight and no change (or upgrade) takes place.

So here’s to taking the time to apply what I’m learning by making use of all the tools available to me.

“i” can learn to live and learn smarter.

Scrubbing Up or Scrubbing In — When What You Put On Reveals The Role You’re Taking On

I’d love to be wearing these…honest.

Instead, I’ll be wearing this…

As my surgery date draws closer, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what I need to wear (before/after) surgery. Which led me to thinking about what I’d rather be wearing than a hospital gown (anything...)

Comparing these two garment choices, (scrubs or hospital gown) who wouldn’t want to put on the colorful scrubs?

Nobody I know would (by choice) select the shapeless, drab-looking hospital gown (and for more reasons than the colors they come in.)

Because everybody knows the big difference between these two types of clothing isn’t the material they’re made of…it’s the role you take on while wearing them.

Medical professional or medical patient.

Given the obvious pluses of taking on a medical professional’s role rather than the place of a medical patient, it’s not a tough call to make.

One offers independent decision making, meaningful conversations, and thoughtful, potentially life-altering choices.

Wait a minute.

Doesn’t being a patient involve the same proactive involvement as their medical caregivers?

Patients today are expected to choose carefully and wisely their caregivers and the treatments offered them. They’re also expected to think through all the options available to them while recognizing each decision is life-altering.

So, whether I’m in the role of a caregiver (or the one receiving care), there’s equal responsibility. We are in fact, sharing the burden together as we work toward the same end.

On any given day, if you’re scrubbing in or scrubbing up — be mindful that exchanging roles is sometimes just as easy (and happens as fast) as a change in clothing. So putting ourselves in the other’s person’s shoes (or scrubs/hospital gown) is a good mental exercise for each one of us.

Slippage – It Happens In Life (And Sports)

On the morning of the game, I was frantically searching for “the tickets.”

Nothing.

Eventually, I realized someone accidentally threw out the tickets along with the envelope they arrived in.

After dealing with the sinking disappointment in my heart, one word came to my mind.

Slippage. It happens.

Slippage might be in monetary form like a car or household appliance that breaks down (or losing precious sports tickets.) It might also come by way of a relationship that falls apart. Or even slips in our internal setting…like attitudes gone array.

No matter what form slippage makes its presence known, everyone deals with it.

One of the more obvious settings that we see slippage escalating is in sports.

Kids sports to be specific.

In a society where winning rules, kids are the real losers when coaches and parents push them to win at all costs.

I’ve seen my share of coaches/games/parents/players who’ve taken to heart the motto, “Win at all costs…” And to be honest, it always leaves me feeling angry because these types of wins are in reality, losses of a bigger kind.

Character. Integrity. Honor. Respect.

So, I’m cheering inside to be able to recommend a brand new resource by author/coach Matt Yeager who navigates through the rough and tumble of competition and leads the way for others to follow.

Here’s just a sampling of what you’ll find in Sport Rules!

Coach and author of Sport Rules!, Matt Yeager shares the Five Intangibles of Sports

The Athlete:

1.Always respects coaches, teammates, officials, and opponents
2.Has relentless dedication to their sport both inside and outside of practice
3.Understands and embraces their role on the team
4.Overcomes roadblocks and challenges with persistent determination
5.Stays positive at all times

The Coach:

1.Is a patient teacher of the sport first and competitor second
2.Models respect and sportsmanship toward officials, opponents, parents, and the athletes they coach
3.Provides clear, consistent communication and feedback to athletes and parents
4.Remains positive in the midst of disappointing and frustrating circumstances
5.Does not base his/her own value on the results of the team’s performance

The Parent:

1.Helps their child learn life lessons through the ups and downs of sports
2.Models respect and sportsmanship toward coaches, officials, and their child’s opponents
3.Helps their child keep their life and sports in balance by making wise choices
4.Remains positive in the midst of disappointing and frustrating circumstances
5.Does not base their own value on the results of their child’s performance