Against All Odds: How Twenty Courageous People Overcame Debilitating Illness, Disease, and Other Physical Challenges

Last week, I shared Taylor’s story and her battle with Lyme Disease and had such a tremendous response that I decided to post another interview I did with a man who lost his leg in a motorcycle accident.

So, here’s another sneak peek at my newest book, Against All Odds: How Twenty Courageous People Overcame Debilitating Illness, Disease, and Other Physical Challenges, where I’ll interview twenty different individuals and tell their stories about how they overcame immense odds to regain their health, rebuild their lives, and became influential role models of perseverence and passion.

Every story is different…but each of these courageous people demonstrated similar character qualities which inspired me and I’m sure they’ll encourage you as well.

Chris’s Story: Transtibial (Below Knee)Amputation

Imagine yourself at nineteen years old and the future seems like an expansive world of possibilities. At this point in your life, there are no limits. You’ve just purchased a motorcycle from a friend, so you’re already on the fast track to fulfilling one of your dreams. You’re very athletic and used to excelling in physical sports of all kinds. You thrive on new challenges and at your age, fear of getting injured doesn’t really enter into your radar. It’s true, you’re still young enough that you might take some things for granted, but overall, the future isn’t anything to be afraid of and you’re ready for whatever comes.

Life immediately following high school is a new start, a promising beginning for many young adults. At this early hopeful juncture, no one expects his or her life to take a sudden sharp turn that puts a halt to every project, plan, or dream. But that’s exactly what happened to Chris Duling when a motorcycle accident resulted in the loss of his lower left leg at age nineteen.

As tragic as this experience was for Chris, it is neither the accident or the loss of his leg that defines Chris most accurately. Rather, it is the courage with which he met this devastating situation and how he dealt with the aftermath of repercussions both emotionally and physically (and continues to deal with some twenty years later). The journey that follows isn’t one Chris would ever had intended to walk, but he, like so many people, didn’t have a choice. Then again, he did. As you’ll see, Chris realized sometime after losing his leg that he could continue to die a bit more each day or choose to live. Courageously, Chris chose life.

Chris’s Story

What started out to be a relaxing evening at a friend’s house for a bonfire back in the woods turned into a life-defining day for Christopher Duling. After owning his motorcycle for only four days, Chris took his bike for a ride in the early evening not far from his house. After mingling with his friends for a short time, Chris decided to run his new bike back home before returning to the bonfire. Chris and his friend started out for Chris’s house and were traveling on the main city streets when a car suddenly slid to a sudden stop directly behind them. Chris turned around and told the driver to watch what he was doing, visibly angered, the other driver aggressively pulled alongside Chris in the fast lane and glared at him. Chris, noting that driver looked crazed, sped ahead to get away from him and thought he succeeded.

Chris then drove further down the street and turned into a nearby gas station to fuel up after he noticed his friends were there. Without warning, this same driver had followed Chris and suddenly whipped his vehicle around into oncoming traffic (forcing two cars into telephone poles) before sideswiping the now stationary Chris and his friend who were sitting on the motorcycle at 70 mph. Chris’s companion flew 70 feet in the air while Chris was drug 70 feet under his motorcycle. Immediately upon hitting his victims, the driver fled from the scene with his bumper deeply indented with the yellow dye from Chris’s ski jacket.

Meanwhile, the still conscious Chris carried his friend out of the street without realizing he was injured. People then came running to help and Chris looked down and saw that his heel was completely shredded. Partly in shock now, his main concern was that he took the motorcycle out for a drive against his dad’s wishes. Chris remembers telling everyone around him, “I need to get the bike back home. My dad is going to kill me…” As Chris kept trying to get up and move, onlookers then held him down until the ambulance arrived and he was transported to a nearby hospital.

Once there, physicians assessed his situation, considered his youth and then recommended the amputation of his lower leg, but ultimately it was Chris’s decision. In shock, but still conscious, Chris’s father helped him make the hard call and agreed to the amputation. Chris’s dad, a big man whom Chris had never seen shed a tear before, stood crying as he watched his son lay there. He realized life would never be the same again for his son. After this monumental decision was made, Chris was sedated and his foot and lower leg were amputated. He remembers waking up two days later in the ICU and thinking it was all a bad dream, then he felt for his leg and it was gone. Reality hit hard.

Amazingly, Chris was only in the hospital for a short five days before he was released to go home. Immediately, he began physical therapy at a nearby clinic. Daily, Chris would make his way to therapy where he quickly excelled and adapted. Physically speaking, Chris was told he improved faster and more efficiently than anyone they’d seen, but the mental strain was enormous. Chris remembers the first time the therapists removed his bandages and he looked at his stump and how he almost passed out when he saw the damage that had been done. Intentionally, no less.

Chris had learned after the fact that the driver who hit him had just been released from jail and had earlier that day beaten his father and girlfriend with a baseball bat because he’d missed his grandfather’s funeral. He had then stolen a car and was bent on hurting someone…and he did. Caught and convicted, this violent offender only received four months in jail for causing a multi-car accident and for taking Chris’s leg. It’s no wonder that Chris had to deal with the injustice of this criminal’s meager punishment on top of his own permanent physical loss.

Though Chris diligently and successfully mastered using his prosthetic leg, he continued to battle with inner demons. Thoughts of suicide permeated his mind for months after the accident and for over two years, Chris felt so ashamed of his appearance he refused to wear anything but long pants. To his way of thinking, if others didn’t know of his disability, it lessened the sting of it. He realizes now that his youth played a big part in how much emphasis he played on his changed physical appearance as it would to anyone at nineteen-years of age. Assuring everyone he was fine, Chris coped as well as anyone could given how dramatically and violently his life had altered, but inside he wasn’t fine.

Getting used to living without a limb is difficult enough, Chris simultaneously had to adjust to using a prosthetic to relearn how to walk on grass, on uneven pavement, and move up stairs and down as normally as possible. Chris explained that when a person is learning to maneuver with the use of a prosthetic he has to change the axis of his hips, and back twenty years ago, the prosthetics were different than what is available today. Chris went from weighing 155 lbs to around 120 lbs the first year after his amputation, so the physical adjustments were dramatic every time Chris looked in the mirror, every time he got up to perform even the simplest tasks from dressing to eating to taking a single step.

Over time, Chris did adjust and accept his new “normal” but it took years of wrestling through “what-ifs” and “why didn’t I” types of internal dialoguing. Eventually, his physical strength returned after months and months of hard work on Chris’s part…and in time, so did his mental toughness. He believes everyone who endures such trauma has to decide for himself or herself whether they’re going to die a little more each day…or choose to live again. Clearly, Chris chose life despite his early dark emotions and his ever-vacillating feelings. Chris exercised an inner-strength of will to overcome his tragedy despite all odds.

Today, twenty years after his accident, Chris still contends with the ever-surfacing aftereffects of his amputation. He deals with skin issues that can lead into infectious sores and cysts (and he’s had 5 operations since his amputation). Chris is constantly replacing sleeves that cover his prosthetic leg which are an out of pocket expense and new prosthetic legs that should be replaced yearly (but aren’t covered by health insurance this frequently) run around $25,000.00. His longtime work at a local auto plant was quite strenuous and Chris worked there for over fifteen years before complications from his amputation forced him out for health reasons.

Chris views life and the sudden uncertainty with which it can change with a sober mindset. His two daughters, Madelyn and Kristin, are his priorities now. Chris understands life’s brevity and appreciates every day…perhaps one of the truest measures of his inner healing is evidenced by the fact that Chris is again the proud owner of a new Harley Street Glide. Says Chris, “I realized what happened to me was never the bike’s fault,” so on he goes taking life one day at a time, one road at a time. “What you can’t change, you learn to adapt,” he concludes.

Amputation Facts

It is important to note that an injury involving only the extremity at the foot (as in Chris’s case) typically results in the loss of the entire lower leg because blood vessels pump blood down to the calf muscle. Dr. Creighton Wright, President and Director of Cardiac, Vascular & Thoracic Surgeons, Inc., explains, “Crushed and avascular tissue does not heal and must be debrided in Chris’s situation and in war wounds.” It becomes more difficult or almost impossible to get a proper prosthetic fit if surgeons allow more than five inches of stump to remain below the knee.

An Expert Comments

Surprising to many people, over ninety percent of amputations are due to a medical condition called peripheral arterial disease (PAD) which is a hardening of the arteries resulting in loss of circulation to the extremities. Other reasons for amputation include cancer, congenital amputation at birth, or traumatic injury. As in Chris’s case (and for the majority of individuals under the age of 50), it is a traumatic injury scenario that necessitated his amputation.

Regardless of the underlying reason for the amputation, before surgeons prepare to operate there are multiple considerations they must determine prior to entering the operating room. They assess the damaged limb and the tissue surrounding the area and check for any present infections (remembering that healthy tissue is tissue that is getting good blood flow), the surgeon assesses which body tissues have the best survival rate. For someone who has suffered a traumatic injury there can be additional complications resulting from the accident such as crushed bone or high-grade open fractures with associated nerve injury, soft tissue loss, and irreparable neurovascular injury.

Once all vital decisions have been made, the surgeon will perform an intricate and complex procedure cutting through skin, muscle, nerves, blood vessels, and bones. Specifically, the steps for the type of surgery Chris went through (Transtibial [Below Knee] Amputation) as explained by Dr. Wright are as follows. “The surgeon creates two flaps of skin and tissue, then the muscle is cut and the main artery and veins at the tibia and fibula bones are exposed. Next, the surgeon will sever these arteries and veins (once the injured limb is removed the natural collateral connections between the artery/veins and capillaries maintain a pathway for blood circulation). The surgeon will then cut through the exposed tibia and fibula bones. At this point, he closes the muscles with sutures over the bone ends. Finally, the remaining skin flaps are then sutured together completing the stump.”

Consider the intricacy of this medical procedure as the surgeon looks ahead to his patient’s immediate recovery as well as his long-term ability to function successfully without a limb. Consider now how Chris’s body worked hard to knit skin, muscle, nerves, blood vessels, and bones back together…because it did. Even after being injured at the accident and subsequently severed and cut during surgery, the nerves inside Chris’s leg were able to heal over time, and his blood vessels (with their new connections) continue to pump needed blood into the tissue of the remainder of his leg, so that within about eight weeks, Chris was successfully wearing a prosthetic leg. The body’s ability to adapt, heal, and compensate is amazing. When correctly understood, it is a life-giving, life-altering concept.

Expert Credentials
Creighton B. Wright MD, MBA, FACS, FAHA, FACPE
President and Director of Cardiac, Vascular & Thoracic Surgeons, Inc.

Dr. Wright also was on active military duty and was chief of professional services in the first Gulf War.

Cardiac, Vascular and Thoracic Surgeons, Inc.
4030 Smith Rd., Suite 300
Cincinnati, OH 45209
513-421-3494

http://www.cvts.com

Against All Odds: How Twenty Courageous People Overcame Debilitating Illness, Disease, and Other Physical Challenges

Here’s a sneak peek at my newest book, Against All Odds: How Twenty Courageous People Overcame Debilitating Illness, Disease, and Other Physical Challenges, where I’ll interview twenty different individuals and tell their stories about how they overcame immense odds to regain their health, rebuild their lives, and became influential role models of perseverance and passion.

Every story is different…but each of these courageous people demonstrated similar character qualities which inspired me and I’m sure they’ll encourage you as well.

Taylor’s Story: Lyme Disease

When Mary Anne first realized how sick her teenage daughter Taylor was she had no idea what a long exhausting battle it would be to (1) get an accurate diagnosis for her child and (2) locate physicians willing to work toward a cure for Taylor’s disease and not simply treat her symptoms. Mary Anne discovered firsthand how difficult it could be to find answers that were reliable, applicable to her daughter’s case, and would ultimately bring Taylor’s body back to optimal health.

As a mom and as a non-medical person, Mary Anne had to become a quick study of her daughter’s symptoms, ferreting out information from multiple sources over years time, all while Taylor grew increasingly and more severely incapacitated. Mary Anne, like countless other families in similar situations, often found herself wondering if she’d ever be able to put enough of the puzzling pieces of this illness together before it permanently compromised her daughter’s lifelong future health. But she did.

Mary Anne’s tenaciousness never allowed her to even consider giving up on finding the root cause of Taylor’s confounding symptoms. Rather, day after day, week after week, and month after month, she aggressively sought out help and information from one source after another until she found the right answers. All throughout this battle, Mary Anne kept calling out to God and asking Him, begging Him, to direct their paths. Over and over again, when there didn’t appear to be any clear-sighted answers, Mary Anne didn’t waver in continually going to the truest Source of hope and healing. This same tenacious spirit of trying to secure the best medical help kept her focused on believing God would come through for them, that He would eventually show them to the right people who would give them the right answers. And He did.

At last, after four grueling years of being misdiagnosed Taylor had both an accurate diagnosis and a long-term treatment plan. Mary Anne, while profoundly grateful for Taylor’s current physicians and her slow but marked health-improvement, still shudders in equal measure when she considers where Taylor would be today if she hadn’t doggedly kept pursuing the underlying cause of this debilitating disease called Lyme. Mary Anne likewise credits her many friends in the faith who committed themselves to daily praying for Taylor and for specifically calling on God to make their path clear. Mary Anne and Taylor are both so grateful for these people, their prayers, and God’s answer.

Taylor’s Story

Nineteen-year-old Taylor Johnson has spent the last five years of her life fighting Lyme disease but for most of this time, Taylor didn’t know what was making her so sick. With minor symptoms beginning during junior high school (2004), Taylor recalls getting skin rashes all over her body that an allergist believed were caused by the school system’s new carpeting. This doctor prescribed steroids to treat the problem and Mary Anne pulled Taylor out of school for the remainder of the year whereupon she improved markedly, but only temporarily. Next came high school with musicals, band, choir and a busy academic schedule that culminated in an end of the school year, out of state field trip where Taylor contracted bronchitis (as did many of her classmates) but from which she (unlike her classmates) never fully recovered. Taylor quickly developed severe whole body aches/pain, constant-pounding headaches, her cognitive thinking ability was foggy at best, her hands and feet went numb, and despite ongoing various types of testing, no one could say what Taylor was suffering from in any definitive sense. There were telltale hints and signs pointing to Lyme even at this early stage but this was not verified for a few more years.

By now, Taylor’s symptoms had grown markedly worse and on most days she was unable to get out of bed. Her limbs were numb, she was passing out when she tried to stand up, and there weren’t any pain medications giving her relief for the continual debilitating throbbing in her head, neck, and shoulders. Though Taylor’s condition had grown so serious she truly was incapacitated and unable to attend high school classes, Mary Anne and Taylor continued to advocate for her health by researching, networking, probing anyone and everyone they came into contact with that might possibly offer additional insights and information. Their tenacity finally paid off.

Even though Taylor was under the care of a number of specialists in a variety of disciplines, her underlying condition remained a mystery until a diagnostic physician who specializes in holistic medicine tested her for Lyme disease and conclusively determined in 2008 that this was Taylor’s physical nemesis. The good news, relatively speaking, is that today Mary Anne and Taylor finally have a diagnosis and two physicians they trust who work in sync on Taylor’s behalf. The bad news is that given the previous years Taylor already had undetected Lyme in her body, it has morphed from a localized bite to a systemic illness that has disseminated and is now affecting her central nervous system.

Tragically, Taylor’s life and the quality of it has been so severely compromised due to these repeated misdiagnoses that even with present aggressive treatment that includes a mix of antibiotics which enters her body through a central line inserted under the skin of her right forearm, blood chelating, high doses of Vitamin C, daily baths with magnesium to sweat out the Lyme bacteria, she still is suffering from Lyme’s insidious spread into her organs, nervous system, and tissues.

Neither Mary Anne nor Taylor expects this battle to be over anytime soon, but they don’t give up. As part of their faith tenets, both of these women approach this problem, this disease, one day at a time. In spite of the intensity of these troubling times, Mary Anne and Taylor learned an important lesson; we’re only to focus on this moment, this challenge. It’s truly all any of us can handle…. and it’s all Christ asks of us. Whenever the uncertain future loomed large, these women would get on their knees and go to God…quoting scripture back to Him in prayer, reminding Him of His promises to care, provide, and enable them to face that day despite the Lyme…. in spite of it. Truly, both mother and daughter now understand the spiritual principle of Christ’s strength being made perfect in our weakness.

When asked what was one of the hardest challenges in dealing with ongoing chronic illness, Mary Anne replies that she didn’t want her daughter missing out on her childhood, she didn’t want Taylor to “miss” those once in a lifetime experiences you only get to have while still a youngster. So, in keeping with this desire to see to it that life would go on as normally as possible, Mary Anne dutifully enrolled Taylor in those activities she was most interested in not knowing how long or how often she’d be able to participate. It was this act of defiance against the Lyme that perhaps is most telling. Just as Taylor’s body was fighting for its life, Mary Anne fought for Taylor’s life on a completely different (but equally life-giving) dimension.

Mary Anne believes that others suffering from Lyme disease must also battle for quality of life on every front as Taylor has done, as she forced Taylor to do. Looking back, when Taylor was at her sickest during her last two years of high school, both mom and daughter recall how Mary Anne pushed Taylor to participate in her high school’s extra-curricular events and they have the photos to prove it. Specifically, Mary Anne wanted Taylor to have the experience of going to her school proms and so with characteristic tenacity, Mary Anne made it happen.

Before the big event, and while Taylor still had a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) in her shoulder area, she recalls dressing in a beautiful gown, having her hair, makeup, nails professionally done and settling down on her sofa before leaving for the dance…only to collapse. Unconscious and out of energy from simply getting ready to go, Mary Anne shot a photo of her daughter at one of the peaks of her setbacks. And yet, Mary Anne was convinced that sick as Taylor was, her school memories were important enough to press forward, some successions notwithstanding.

Taylor, after given some time to re-coup, was awakened and went to the prom with her date and enjoyed a few dances before becoming sick in the ladies room and leaving early. The following year, prom time again, Taylor attended the dance but went to a separate room to take needed medicines through her PICC line during the evening. These are just two examples of precious life moments Mary Anne made certain her daughter experienced.

Taylor, for her part, is grateful her mom saw past the immediate distressing circumstances and grasped the bigger life picture by purposefully expanding their lives beyond the reaches of the Lyme disease. Taylor admits she often felt so ill it would have been easier to give up…but Taylor is every bit her mother’s daughter. Having watched her mom persist beyond all odds and remove multiple barriers to getting the best care for her, Taylor could do no less as she personally fought her way to better health one step at a time.

Both Mary Anne and Taylor are grateful for their strong community of family, friends, and neighbors who consistently came alongside them to encourage and offer emotional, spiritual, and practical supports. On days when neither of them had the stamina to keep going, mother and daughter remember meals, cards, phone calls, commitments to pray, those small but powerful tokens of love that would suddenly appear, reminding them both they were not alone and they were loved and supported. When they couldn’t believe for themselves, others would come alongside and spark their faith again by assuring them that as part of God’s family, they’d never have to face this alone. As Maryanne sums up nicely, “It really does take a community of people who care to save a person.”

Lyme Disease Facts
Lyme Disease is one of the fastest-growing infectious diseases in the United States transmitted by ticks and other carriers. What begins as a localized bite site can quickly disseminate and pervasively invade and disrupt the immune system and compromise all vital organs leaving a victim with very low quality of life.

An Expert Comments
Dr. Lauri Grossman DC CCH RSHom(Na) of New York City, NY, explains in brief how Lyme attacks a person’s body and how our bodies fight back. Dr. Grossman writes, “Lyme disease is transmitted to humans by the bite of ticks infected with a particular bacteria. Borrelia burgdorferi, the bacteria that causes Lyme disease, contains a substance that triggers an immune response from the body’s natural killer (NK) T cells, a type of white blood cell. NK T cells play a vital role in healing as they attack infection quite rapidly.”

If not treated promptly, it will eventually affect the joints, heart, and nervous system. Our human body reacts to this “infecting organism” by triggering a production of inflammatory agents to protect itself. This protective device called antibodies (the good guys) are the chemicals produced by the body’s immune system that normally fight off infection. Antibodies are actually proteins created by the body to attack unwanted bacteria and viruses. Everyone has a natural defense system that we most often call an immune system. When working correctly, a person’s healthy immune system creates a barrier that stops those foreign elements, or antigens (the bad guys), from entering the body. Now when an antigen gets past this initial barrier, the immune system has to increase its defensive measures because the battle is now being waged on the inside of the body, not on the outside.

At this point, the body produces additional white blood cells, proteins and other chemicals to step up the fight. Initially, these antibodies are trying to search out the dangerous virus/bacteria and then destroy it before it multiplies and spreads. While the immune system can recognize millions of different antigens, it cannot always keep up with or finish off completely specific bacteria or viruses without help from the outside, meaning antibiotics and other medical treatment supports administered by a physician.

As Dr. Grossman observes, “Sometimes however, the immune system is not able to completely remove bacteria from the body. So rashes may form and problems in the joints, heart and nervous system may arise. Then, additional support is needed. This support comes in two forms: one that targets the infection directly and the other that adds vitality to the body so that it retains its strength in the process. For this reason antibiotics are used to clear the infection and proper diet, exercise and rest are recommended to keep the body strong. This prevents the severe complications that arise when treatment is delayed : disabling joint and heart problems and a wide variety of emotional and mental difficulties.”

Since Taylor’s body had been fighting the Lyme disease for four years before being diagnosed, her previous treatments were not specifically targeted at the Lyme spirochete (Borrelia burgdorferi) bacteria, only at relieving her various symptoms. Thus, her case of Lyme moved from an early localized disease stage (three days to about a month) past the early disseminated disease stage (where sufferers begin to experience – skin problems, joint pain, nerve inflammation, heart arrhythmia) and into the late persistent disease stage (characterized by arthritis, severe headaches, fatigue, vision impairment, hearing, memory, concentration, and thinking problems, and pericarditis).

Although Taylor’s scenario is of the worst-case type, all throughout her struggle to regain health her body was doing its best to use its immune system to slow down Lyme’s ever-escalating attack on her body. Without our immune system’s intricate and fast-paced approach to defending our bodies, Taylor would have been much sicker, much earlier on. Even her physician described how marvelously her body was (and is) fighting its way back to excellent health, and just as Maryanne commented about it taking a community effort to save a person…in like manner, our immune system works in a systemized (community) effort to protect and preserve itself.

Dr. Grossman notes, “As Taylor’s body struggled to fight the infection as best it could, Maryanne’s diligent attention and the community’s caring efforts supported her so she had the best chance to restore her health. Their team effort allowed her to get to the prom and to participate in all those once in a lifetime experiences that Maryanne had prayed her daughter would not miss.”

Expert Credentials
Dr Lauri Grossman DC CCH RSHom(NA)
Chair, Dept of Medicine and Humanistic Studies
American Medical College of Homeopathy

201 West 72 Street #4M
New York, New York 10023
212.787.4445
http://www.homeopathycafe.com

Waiting: Choosing Calm Over Control

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of waiting (and not doing it too well)…during a recent radio interview the host asked me to read a portion of our new book to her audience…funny how reading what you write puts a shock into your system (because I need to be applying what I write, right?) This post is for me.

“…According to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.”
Hippocrates

What type of client, customer or patient are you? When you walk through the waiting room door does the person on the other side flinch, tense, or otherwise prepare for attack? Do you disappoint, discourage, or offer a disgruntled impression? Is every statement or question voiced one punctuated by an undergirding of subtle disrespect, disinterest or distrust? What exactly is your attitude saying about you, your words notwithstanding?

It used to be that physicians had to memorize the Hippocratic oath, the most memorable line laypeople remember being, First, do not harm.” Nowadays, this pledge has been updated to make more practical sense in our modern high-tech society. Still, the underlying message remains the same. That is, one individual is making a promise to do his or her level best to help another person in need. Honestly now, aren’t we thankful that the majority of doctors and other professionals from whom we seek aid do abide by this long-standing motto? If we didn’t trust that person sitting on the other side of the desk (or across the room) to make a positive difference in our lives, we wouldn’t waste time seeking out their expertise, right?

Unfortunately, though we continue to seek out expert help from these professionals we’ve similarly begun to tote along with us an attitude of consumer elitism. Truth to tell, we’re ever-ready to assert our rights even when they’re not being compromised. We get angry when our appointment is pushed back. We feel frustrated when a promised contract doesn’t materialize. We complain and fret and moan about every little inconvenience without taking time to consider that our minor grievance could very well transform into another’s good. How so?

Consider this; the next time you’re left waiting for an hour because of an unexpected emergency and your friendly neighborhood professional begs your pardon upon greeting you…give it. Think about how you feel when your best-laid plans go wrong. We’ve all had those days when we started out on time armed with a solid plan of great intent and then we were interrupted, stalled, and thwarted. How did we feel? We were discouraged, weary, and wanted to give up. In the coming days, do yourself and everyone else a favor, hone that memory of yours that never forgets an offense against you for good of someone else and take the “oath” to keep others from harm. Purpose to never rattle someone’s already fragile emotional cage with your unrelenting demands or unrealistic expectations. Rather, tell them you understand. Tell them you appreciate their diligent service. Tell them, thank you. Guaranteed, you’ll begin to see the person behind the professional façade and we all know how terrific it feels to have someone see the “us” behind what we “do.” It can’t do any harm.

Takeaway Action Thought: Never view waiting as wasted time, these are simply opportune moments allotted for the purpose of regaining some inner stillness, calm and clarity.

Weight Bearing Exercises

There are only two ways to wait. We either choose to wait well or we wait poorly. If we give in to impatient thoughts and words, then we risk jeopardizing both our health and those with whom we come into contact. In a society where there is only stop and go, waiting offers a welcome in-between space to purposefully hit the pause button and to rest and reflect. It doesn’t matter what we’re waiting for, an appointment, an apology, or an answer. It’s the conduct of our heart and minds that will make all the difference.

Waiting well -
* Lowers blood pressure; when we accept the uncontrollable as necessarily part of daily life our physical bodies take note and respond accordingly.
* Reduces inner-stress; from headaches to body aches…we just feel better when we realize we are not in control of others’ behaviors or responses, only our own.
* Makes one more productive; being forced to wait in one area allows more time and energy to invest in countless others, there is no wasted time if we use each day to its fullest.
* Allows for better decision making; rather than reacting with anger and impulsivity, we thoughtfully consider, decide, and determine taking into account all possible repercussions of our choices.
* Expands our understanding of another’s perspective; removing ourselves from the emotional intensity of the moment enables us to see a situation more accurately as time passes.
* Gives opportunity to love sacrificially; we deepen, grow, and change every time we put someone’s needs above our own, personal discomfort and all.

Waiting poorly -
* Raises blood pressure; as our mind thinks, our emotions flare, and from head to toe our bodies respond to the stress. What and how we process our thoughts and experiences does matter.
* Produces anxiety; we fret, worry, and stew…and completely forfeit the inner peace for which we so long.
* Inhibits productivity; when we focus exclusively on what we can’t have, we become completely immobilized and paralyzed, unable to be of any good to anyone or anything else in our lives.
* Increases chances of reacting impulsively; stand back, don’t react. The more frequently a person acts or speaks before thinking, the greater the potential for negative and long-lasting fallout.
* Shrinks one’s sense of proportion; when we only see our side of a situation, we’re not really viewing life as it really is. Whenever there are two people, there are two sides to every story, always.
* Robs one’s ability to grow by enduring difficulties; when we respond self-protectively or solely with self-interest, we are the ones who are short-changed most.